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55 Brilliant Finds on Amazon That Make You Look & Feel 10X Better

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Sometimes, your mood and your appearance are intertwined — like when stress has you tossing and turning all night, so your under-eyes aren’t exactly bright and sparkly come morning. But luckily, this relationship works the other way around, too: A fresh blowout, a pore-cleansing facial, or a self-care practice all have the potential to uplift your mood and leave you feeling rejuvenated. That’s why some of the most popular items on Amazon are the ones that make you look and feel 10 times better.

Now, as someone who reviews products for a living, I can tell you that Amazon is absolutely packed with genius items you won’t find anywhere else — but out of all the different shopping categories, the brilliant self-care products are my favorite. These are the ones with the potential to actually make a difference in someone’s life. They’re the things people reach for when they’re feeling overwhelmed, or anxious, or tired. They’re the things that remind you to take a minute for yourself, because you fully deserve it.

As Audre Lorde says, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation.” By that logic, self-care is worth the investment — and these well-designed products cut your problems in half so you can look and feel great simultaneously.

This Weighted Eye Pillow For Headaches, Eyestrain & Stress Relief

Blissful Being Lavender Eye Pillow
Amazon

Whether you deal with headaches or stare at a computer screen all day, this weighted lavender eye pillow is a fantastic way to relax. It’s made with silky soft satin and filled with flaxseeds that provide gentle pressure and lavender that offers aromatherapeutic benefits. Choose from pretty jewel tones like aqua, amethyst, and ruby.

The Shower Version Of A Bath Bomb

ZenTyme Moments Shower Steamers (6 Count)
Amazon

Get the soothing, fizzy effects of a bath bomb during your everyday morning routine. These shower steamers don’t require you to fill the tub; instead, just position them under a light stream during your shower, and they’ll release the relaxing scent of essential oils into the air.

A Gold-Plated Chain Necklace With A Volcanic Lava Rock Pendant

Aoebi 18k Gold Chain Choker
Amazon

This beautiful and dainty necklace plated in 18K gold holds a volcanic rock pendant that does more than look cool. Add a drop or two of essential oil to the rock, and it’ll release its fragrance like a personal diffuser.

This Light Therapy Lamp That Reviewers Swear By

Verilux HappyLight Therapy Lamp
Amazon

Even though it takes up limited space on a coffee table or work desk, this light therapy lamp emits 10,000 lux of sun-mimicking illumination. The result, according to reviewers, is heightened energy, a more balanced sleep schedule, and an elevated mood — especially during the dreary cold-weather months.

An Eyelash Comb With A Genius Design

MSQ Eyelash Comb
Amazon

No matter how good your mascara formula is, you’re bound to be left with some clumps after applying. That’s why this cheap but effective eyelash comb is so necessary. It’s ergonomically designed to line up with the shape of your eye, and the delicate metal tines separate clumps for fluffy, natural-looking lashes.

These Eco-Friendly Hair Ties That Prevent Damage And Creasing

Terra Ties Hair Ties (27-Pack)
Amazon

Keep your hair crease-, damage-, and tangle-free — all while supporting the environment. Terra ties don’t use plastic; instead, they’re made from cotton and natural rubber. They also come in biodegradable packaging, so you can feel great about an eco-friendly purchase.

These 24K Gold Patches To Ease Puffy, Dark Under-Eyes

Arvesa Gold Eye Masks (30 Pairs)
Amazon

Using luxurious ingredients like collagen, hyularonic acid, and genuine 24-karat gold, these under-eye patches aim to soothe and brighten puffy under-eyes in mere minutes. One reviewer wrote, “Leaves my skin so soft! I’ve used under eye masks before and I really love the way they feel. These specifically I put into the fridge to depuff my eye area. I’m really pleased with the fact that my skin didn’t/hasn’t broken out. I have very sensitive skin and I usually break out when using new products. […] They are very soothing and gentle. Would definitely buy again”.

These Comfy Slides Named For Their Pillow-Like Softness

BRONAX Pillow Slippers
Amazon

Sometimes you just need clothing that’s warm and comfortable. Luckily, these pillow slides are as cozy as they are cute. They’re made from cushy, waterproof EVA with thick, supportive soles.

Available Colors: 6

– Available Sizes: Small — XX-Large

An Exfoliating Scrub Glove For Smoother Skin

The Original Kessa Hammam Scrubbing Glove
Amazon

It’s easy to maintain an exfoliation routine with this scrubbing glove. Work up a soapy lather with warm water and rub your skin using the glove to slough off dead skin cells and reveal softer, smoother skin.

These Clear Patches That Heal Blemishes Faster

Mighty Patch
Amazon

They’re subtle, tiny, and transparent, but according to fans, these Mighty Patches pack a serious punch. Simply place them over a pimple, and the hydrocolloid sucks all the gross stuff out overnight, so the blemish is flatter, less red, and well on its way to healing by morning. You can even see the results stuck to the patch when you pull it off.

This 5-In-1 Diffuser Alarm Clock From ArtNaturals

Sierra Modern Home Essential Oil Diffuser with Bluetooth
Amazon

In my opinion, nothing says self-care like a versatile, practical gadget. This unit from Sierra Modern Home is a humidifier, essential oil diffuser, alarm clock, Bluetooth speaker, and color-changing night light, all in one. It also has an automatic shut-off function to keep you safe when the tank runs dry, and the woodgrain finish adds a chic touch to any bedside table.

Some Gel-Infused Ankle Socks To Soften Calluses

NatraCure Moisturizing Gel Socks
Amazon

Not one for pedicures, peeling masks, or exfoliation tools? These NatraCure ankle socks are infused with a softening, moisturizing gel, which soaks into calluses while you sleep, watch TV, or paint your nails. They’re breathable and stretchy to fit most feet, and since they’re infused with vitamin E, shea butter, and aloe, even those with sensitive skin say “these socks are perfect!”

A Cult-Favorite Facial Cleansing Brush For Gentle Exfoliation

EZBASICS Facial Cleansing Brush
Amazon

This affordable facial cleansing brush gently exfoliates your skin, and is IPX7-rated waterproof so you can use it in the shower. It has five speed settings, and on a single charge it can run for up to 200 uses. According to one reviewer, “I’d been eyeing the Foreo for a while now but couldn’t stomach the price. Found this sonic cleanser on here and ordered immediately. I love it!! The silicone is super hygienic— easy to rinse off and sanitize. My skin always feels super smooth and clean after using this.”

This Gorgeous Silk Pillowcase To Pamper Hair & Skin

SLPBABY Silk Pillowcase
Amazon

Upgrade your bed while pampering your hair and skin. The SLPBABY pillowcase is made from genuine mulberry silk (on both sides), which helps to minimize friction, prevent dryness, regulate temperature, and preserve your style. Get it in a huge selection of sizes, solid colors, and gorgeous floral patterns.

A Cleansing Brush For Smooth, Squeaky Clean Skin

VISOFO Facial Cleansing Brush
Amazon

Instead of spending money restocking on exfoliant every month or two, invest in this popular Olay facial cleansing brush. The two-speed device comes with two soft-bristle brush heads that are designed to maximize the performance of your cleanser, so you get a deep clean and smooth, soft skin. Plus, it comes with AA batteries already installed, so you can get to using it ASAP.

These Odd Concealers That Actually Counteract Discoloration

L.A. Girl Pro Conceal Set
Amazon

At first glance, you might think: “There’s no way I’ll ever be able to blend those colors into my skin tone,” but reviewers couldn’t believe how well they corrected discoloration. The L.A. Girl Pro Conceal set comes with green to counteract redness, orange for transparent areas, and yellow for under-eye circles. The consistency is crease-resistant and easy to blend — and reviewers now have “NO idea how [they were] living without these!”

A Facial Spray With Chamomile & Lavender

Mario Badescu Facial Spray with Aloe, Chamomile and Lavender
Amazon

Use the Mario Badescu spray as a facial toner, make-up setter, or aromatherapy mist. It’s made with lavender oil, chamomile, and vitamin C, all of which are packed with free radicals and nutrients. Some reviewers even say they spritz it in their hair to “refresh [their] curls” throughout the day.

This Adjustable Blackhead Remover Vacuum That Can Help Clear Skin

POPPYO Blackhead Remover Vacuum
Amazon

Help clear your skin and reduce the appearance of blackheads, whiteheads, and more with this suction-powered blackhead remover. According to the manufacturer, you’ll begin to see results in just two to five weeks. You can even adjust the vacuum’s absorption levels to your needs with five different levels. Plus, this unit is totally rechargeable and one charge can last 150 minutes.

This Lavender Lotion Formulated With Soothing Aloe

Little Moon Essentials Floral Hand & Body Lotion, Relax, 4 Oz.
Amazon

This relaxing lotion is formulated with soothing aloe and a blend of lavender, chamomile, and rose, for a floral scent you can lather on your hands and body. Not only is this lotion cruelty- and paraben-free, it’s also vegan. This comes in a bunch of different scents, ranging from lemon and vanilla to eucalyptus and rosemary.

This Memory Foam Pillow That Cradles Your Neck While You Sleep

ZAMAT Contour Memory Foam Pillow
Amazon

This luxe memory foam pillow features a contoured design that cradles your neck and supports your shoulders as you sleep. The removable inserts inside can be adjusted to your preferred height, and you can also remove the pillowcase and wash it to keep your bed set-up clean. Over 5,000 Amazon users and counting have invested in this pillow to get a comfortable night’s sleep.

Some Glasses That Block Out Harmful Blue Light

SOJOS Cat Eye Blue Light Blocking Glasses
Amazon

Yeah, they’re stylish, transparent, and comfortable to wear, but these aren’t your average glasses. They block out blue light rays from fluorescent bulbs, computer screens, televisions, and phones, which can supposedly overstimulate the brain, cause headaches, and disrupt sleep. These glasses are available in five different colors, and buyers have seen an “amazing difference.”

This Detangling Brush That Separates & Defines Your Curly Hair

Denman Hair Brush
Amazon

This detangling brush can help shaping and defining your curls, and has seven rows of synthetic bristles that gently brush through curly hair. With more than 58,000 Amazon reviews, this brush is one of the most popular options on the internet, and one fan says, “This thing is amazing. Normally, if I comb my hair at any point after I rinse my conditioner out, my waves and curls fall out and get stringy. This brush works exactly as it is supposed to work and helped create ringlets all over my head.”

A Finishing Cream To Touch Up Any Flyaways Or Loose Strands

Mohoix Finishing Hair Cream
Amazon

A good hair day can do wonders for your mood, and with Mohoix finishing cream, reviewers say every day is a good hair day. The non-greasy formula boosts shine, smooths down flyaways, neatens up-dos, and minimizes frizz — and thanks to the mascara-like brush, it’s easy to apply just the right amount. “I never knew I needed this until I bought it, now I can’t live without it!” one reviewer wrote.

These Teeth-Whitening Pens That Don’t Cause Sensitivities

VieBeauti Teeth Whitening Pens (2-Pack)
Amazon

These VieBeauti teeth whitening pens have a near-perfect rating because they’re easy to use, don’t irritate sensitive teeth or gums, and “actually work,” reviewers say. Each pen is filled with enough gel for 20-plus uses, and thanks to the twist design and gentle bristles, it’s extremely simple to apply.

A Microdermabrasion Roller To Help Your Complexion Glow

Sdara Skincare Derma Roller
Amazon

This microdermabrasion roller exfoliates skin so it looks and feels so much better. With its .25-millimeter needles the roller applies light pressure to help reduce the appearance of pores and overall rejuvenate your complexion. One happy customer noted they saw results in just two weeks.

This Mist That’s Great For Your Hair, Face, Body — You Name It

WOW Apple Cider Vinegar Mist
Amazon

Why does WOW apple cider vinegar mist have such a high rating? Because it’s one of the most versatile products you can add to your beauty regimen. Thanks to gentle, balancing ingredients like real apple cider vinegar, rose water, witch hazel, and green tea, you can use this stuff to balance skin tone, set make-up, soften hair, nourish nails, and soothe breakouts.

A Workout Balm That Promotes Sweating & Circulation

ICEWATER 3-in-1 Smart Water Bottle
Amazon

Drinking enough water is key to looking and feeling your best, and this smart water bottle glows every hour to remind you to drink more water. This BPA-free, 20-ounce water bottle promises to keep your water cool for up to 24 hours without leaking. This comes in four different colors you can choose from.

This Sleek Smart Watch That Doubles As A Fitness Tracker

Fitpolo Smart Watch
Amazon

This stylish smart watch doubles as a fitness tracker, but it does much more than track your steps. This waterproof accessories also tracks your sleep, heart rate, phone messages, and more. It even has a built-in alarm as well as music control, and it’s available in four colors.

These Velvet Makeup Blenders (& A Cleansing Bar)

JUNO & Co. Microfiber Velvet Makeup Blenders (4 Pack)
Amazon

Reviewers have called the these velvet sponge their “new favorite makeup sponge for liquid foundation” as well as a great tool for “blush, highlight, contour powder, under eye setting powder…. actually, any setting powder.” That’s because it’s made from a dual-layer microfiber material that applies and blends without soaking up all your product. This set of two even comes with a cleansing bar.

A Bottle That’s Designed To Help You Drink More Water

Green Sequoia Cactaki Water Bottle with Time Marker (32 Oz)
Amazon

This BPA-free water bottle is marked with times stamps so you can keep track of how much water you’ve had to drink. After all, studies prove that drinking water is essential to your body’s health. Plus for your convenience it just takes the click of a button on the leak-proof lid to open your water bottle and it comes with a convenient carry strap to keep your bottles with you on the go. So, there’s no excuse for you not to drink enough water.

This Set of Spa Headbands To Keep Your Hair Back During Your Self Care Routine

Whaline Spa Facial Headband (4-Pack)
Amazon

Now you can easily keep your hair off your face and dry when you’re washing your face or while working out. This pack of four terry towel headbands are one size fits all and adjustable thanks to the velcro-strip closure. While super absorbent, these headbands are also breathable, which is why they work well as part of both your skin and exercise routine.

This Best-Selling Styling Brush That People Are “Obsessed With”

Revlon One-Step Hair Dryer
Amazon

With well over 13,000 reviews and a number-one best-seller status, you can tell at a glance that the Revlon One-Step dryer is special — but how? This two-in-one tool combines a blow dryer with a brush so, as you pull the bristles through your hair, hot air dries and styles strands from inside the barrel. Get it in your choice of four colors.

A Balance Disc To Encourage Better Posture

RFAQK Inflated Air Stability Wobble Cushion
Amazon

Simply by adding the disc to your office chair, driver’s seat, or favorite recliner, you engage your core and improve your posture. That’s because, due to the inflatable textured design, it encourages balance and a straight back — and it’s so portable and convenient, reviewers have even incorporated it into their fitness routines.

This Massager For Cleaner Hair & An Invigorated Scalp

Rolencos Hair Scalp Massager
Amazon

Thanks to its flexible silicone bristles, the Rolencos massager stimulates circulation in the scalp and deep cleans between strands to remove product build-up. It’s also waterproof and fits comfortably in the palm of your hand, so it’s no wonder reviewers call it a “life-changing product.”

A Micro-Needle Roller To Boost Collagen Production

Linduray Skincare Derma Roller
Amazon

When this tool rolls over the skin, its thousands of tiny needles make microscopic punctures, which then prompt a rush of healing collagen. The result, according to reviews? “The next day after micro needling, my skin is BRIGHT and so so smooth and even.”

This Shower Head Duo That Turns Your Shower Into A Daily Luxury

DreamSpa Rainfall Shower Head and Handheld Shower Combo
Amazon

This shower head set includes both a rainfall head and a handheld head all in one. With seven settings including power rain, pulsating massage, mist, hydro-mist, eco rain, and water-saving pause, you can customize your shower to your exact needs and preferences. The handheld shower head has a 5-foot stainless steel hose for cleaning versatility. Plus, you don’t even need any tools to install this shower head, and reviewers confirm how easy it is to install.

This All-In-One Gel Manicure Set So You Can Skip The Salon

SOLIDBACK Back Stretcher
Amazon

This back stretcher can help your back feel so much better. Made of EVA foam that’s soft to the touch yet won’t buckle under your weight as you stretch, this could be the tool you’ve been looking for. The Solidback brand even claims to help improve your posture. One reviewer raved, “OBSESSED! It’s like yoga stretching without the yoga. I work in an office and sit for most of the day so I have chronic back pain in various spots. Opened this puppy and immediately felt the benefits after using it for only a few minutes. I like to do my upper back as well and it also feels great.”

This Hair Mask To Encourage Long, Strong Hair

Marc Anthony Grow Long Anti-Breakage Hair Mask
Amazon

Treat yourself to a deep-healing salon day — right in your own bathroom. Marc Anthony Grow Long hair mask has ingredients like argan oil, caffeine, keratin, and ginseng, which both help to strengthen strands and encourage the growth of new ones. “Has changed my damaged hair to healthy!” one reviewer raved. “So worth it and I love that you only have to keep it on for 5 mins!”

A Workbook To Help You Cultivate Self-Love

The Self-Love Workbook
Amazon

Reviewers call The Self-Love Workbook an “incredible self-discovery book” and “definitely a great tool to help look into your self.” It contains interactive activities, reflective writing prompts, and easy-to-apply advice, all of which aim to boost your self-esteem and “accept who you are wholeheartedly.”

This Handheld Hair Remover That Causes Zero Pain

leuxe Facial Hair Remover
Amazon

Unlike shaving or waxing, this facial hair remover doesn’t hurt at all. Instead, it uses a hypoallergenic protection net that glides over the skin, so the stainless steel blade can get an exceptionally close trim. It’s also battery-operated, waterproof, and has a built-in LED light.

A Bee Propolis Throat Spray That Boosts Your Immunity

Bee Propolis Throat Spray
Amazon

I swear by this stuff — and so do hundreds of other reviewers: “This spray is incredible! I’ve been taking it daily for a few months now. I haven’t gotten sick and my severe allergies to cedar have subsided.” How? The formula uses real bee propolis extract to tackle bacteria before it enters the body, coat the throat, and boost your immune system, all while tasting like candy.

These Comfortable Compression Pants That Encourage Circulation

Active Research Compression Pants
Amazon

These compression pants from Active Research are made with a special material blend. Yes, it’s breathable and resistant to odors and bacteria, but it also compresses the muscles to aid in recovery and optimal blood flow, whether you’re working out or sitting on a plane. As an added bonus, reviewers say they’re well-made, “look so good on,” and are “extremely comfortable.”

This Lavender Candle That Transforms Into A Moisturizing Body Oil

Victoria’s Lavender Moisturizing Massage Candle
Amazon

When lit, this candle emits a soothing scent from real lavender essential oil — but the self-care qualities don’t end there. The wax is made from avocado oil and shea butter, so when it’s in liquid form, you can use it as a moisturizing body oil or a luxurious massage oil.

This Rose Quartz Facial Massager That Vibrates

Beauty by Earth Jade Roller
Amazon

Rose quartz rollers are cooling, gentle on skin, and aim to brighten the complexion by encouraging blood flow — and since this quartz roller vibrates, reviewers say it boosts those benefits tenfold. It also runs on batteries for portability and has a few interchangeable heads for versatility.

This Roll-On Formula To Ease Razor Bumps, Ingrown Hairs, And Pain

Divine Derriere Razor Bump Stopper
Amazon

Regardless of your preferred hair-removal method, Divine Derriere Razor Bump Stopper aims to soothe inflammation, prevent ingrown hairs, and brighten discoloration. It also cools the skin to minimize pain after shaving or waxing, and it comes in a convenient roller that evenly coats any area.

A Thickening Shampoo That Aims To Build Volume

DR. HEMPSTER Thickening Shampoo
Amazon

Those with fine or thinning hair have great things to say about thickening shampoo, which nourishes strands and builds volume using ingredients like biotin, vitamins, plant proteins, and essential oils. That said, it skips all the nasty ingredients like sulfates and synthetic fragrances.

This Weighted Blanket For The “Best Sleep” In Years

Syrinx Cooling Weighted Blanket
Amazon

“Best sleep I have had in years,” one reviewer raved, and judging by the 4.4-star rating, others tend to agree. The Syrinx weighted blanket aims to ease your mind and soothe your body by simulating the weighted feeling of a hug. But don’t worry — the evenly distributed glass beads and the breathable fabric still allow for ventilation. Get it in seven colors and various weights and sizes.

A Quality Dry Brush — With Or Without The Handle

ZEN ME Premium Dry Brush
Amazon

For hard-to-reach areas, this premium body brush has a 17-inch wooden handle — but when you need optimal control, the handle slides off and the strap fits comfortably around your fingers. Either way, the natural boar bristles aim to exfoliate your skin, boost circulation, and improve lymphatic flow for a bright, glowing complexion.

These Lip Balms That Add Color While They Nourish

Sky Organics Tinted Lip Balms (4-Pack)
Amazon

Drying color, or hydrating lack thereof? You never again have to make that choice. Sky Organics tinted lip balms are made with nourishing ingredients like beeswax, coconut oil, and cocoa butter — but each is infused with a tint (plum, raisin, champagne, and shimmer) to keep your lips looking as great as they feel.

This Curved Massage Cane That Can Relieve Hard-To-Reach Places

TriggerPoint AcuCurve Massage Cane
Amazon

You can massage your own back with the help of this trigger-point cane. It’s double sided: One has two massage sphere to target areas around spine, and the other has one sphere for deep-tissue relief. You can also use it on your feet and calves, and many customers commented on how it’s “easy to use.”

This Freezable Rolling Massager That Stays Cold For 20 Minutes Each Time

Gaiam Restore Cold Therapy Muscle Massage Roller Ball
Amazon

This cold therapy massager consists of a freezable sphere in a convenient hand-held roller. It eases muscular tension and soothes sore spots, and it’s easy to hold onto (thanks to the grippy surface). Not to mention, the sphere will stay cold for up to 20 minutes after frozen.

These Magnetic Lashes That Adhere To The Included Eyeliner

Arishine Magnetic Eyeliner and Lash Set
Amazon

Forget messy glue and finicky magnets. This brilliant falsie set comes with five pairs of magnetized lashes that are drawn to the metallic eyeliner instead of a second pair. As a result, reviewers say they last all day, and a lush, voluminous look has never been so effortless: “They’re so light I can’t even tell that I’m wearing them. […] I’m very impressed with these!”

These Cloths That Fully Remove Makeup With Only Water

Rainbow Rovers Makeup Remover Cloths (3-Pack)
Amazon

Those with sensitive skin spend so much time checking the labels of makeup removers and facial washes. Luckily, even the skeptics have called these Rainbow Rovers cloths “the best magic trick” because they remove all makeup using just water. “I used one end of the cloth and it took off mascara, eyeliner, and eyeshadow with no residue left,” one reviewer wrote — plus they’re much more eco-friendly than disposable wipes.

A Growth Serum & An Eyeliner In One

Hairgenics Pronexa Lavish Liner
Amazon

Emphasize your lashes while simultaneously growing them. Lavish Liner‘s formula is jet-black, hypoallergenic, water-resistant, and easy to apply thanks to the precise tip — but it’s also infused with biotin and castor oil to nourish lashes and encourage new growth.

This Microwavable Aromatherapy Pouch That Also Works Cold

Nature’s Approach Basic Herb Pack
Amazon

This herb pack can be heated in the microwave for muscle-soothing warmth, or it can be cooled off in the freezer and used for chilly relief. It’s organic, aromatic filling of rice and flaxseed is encased in a cotton pouch, and it’s available in six colors. You can lay it on various parts of your body, and many customers wrote that it’s “exactly what I was looking for.”

Original Article: bustle.com

Personal Care

Dionne Warwick Is Still on the Hunt for Taylor Swift’s Infamous Scarf

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Swifties aren’t the only ones who remember Taylor Swift’s missing scarf all too well. Legendary singer (and now tweeter) Dionne Warwick has provided an update on her attempts to get the infamous accessory back, and her work is not yet done. Appearing on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert on Friday, Jan. 21, she laid out her plans to find the scarf fans have long suspected Jake Gyllenhaal has.

Colbert brought the case up while asking the “Queen of Twitter” about some of her past tweets, reminding viewers that Warwick had gone so far as to offer to pay for the cost of mailing the scarf back to Swift. The late-night host “couldn’t let [her] go without weighing in” in the situation, as he told her, and the “Nothing’s Impossible” singer let him know that she had heard “not one word” from either Gyllenhaal or Swift so far.

“I’m going to find out and give her a call,” Warwick said. “I am. To find out if she got her scarf.”

The five-time Grammy winner didn’t stop there. “If she didn’t, I’m going to find Jake,” she added, giving Colbert a meaningful look that turned into some serious stink eye before she ultimately broke into laughter.

The story of Swift’s missing scarf has intrigued fans since the pop star released “All Too Well” on the original version of Red in October 2012. In the song, she mentions it twice, first singing that she left it at the house of the unnamed ex’s sister and that he’s “still got it in [his] drawer even now.” Later, she adds, “But you keep my old scarf from that very first week / ’Cause it reminds you of innocence / And it smells like me / You can’t get rid of it.” And so the question of what happened to it in real life kept popping up. The suspected sister from the song, Maggie Gyllenhaal, even faced a fan question about it on What What Happens Live With Andy Cohen in 2017, and she noted that “everybody asked [her] about this scarf.” However, she had no definitive answers as to its whereabouts, and the mystery continued.

It was the release of Red (Taylor’s Version) in late 2021 that ultimately got Warwick involved. The 10-minute version of “All Too Well” reignited the internet buzz with a vengeance, especially when a placeholder scarf made multiple appearances in the song’s short film, which came out on Nov. 12. Within days, Warwick was already trying to help Swift get her winter wear back and UPS was ready to join her.

Of course, only Jake Gyllenhaal can say what happened to the scarf and he’s kept mum on the subject. Whether or not Warwick will be able to change that remains to be seen, but at the very least, the saga is still keeping us all entertained.

Original Article: bustle.com

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Personal Care

Keeping Your House Nice Is Hard, but These 45 Clever Things Make It so Much Easier

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Even after you’ve done all of the renovations and upgrades that you want to your house, maintaining its beauty and organization is tricky. Especially if you have a house full of kids or pets, begging to make a mess of it all. I’ve shopped around and found solutions to all of your cleaning and organization woes. Keeping your house nice is hard, but these 45 clever things make it so much easier.

Protecting your investments is a no-brainer, but you may not realize there are plenty of affordable tools that will keep your higher-priced items looking their best. Check out the covers that protect your refrigerator handles from sticky fingers, or the canvas baskets that look good while hiding a mess of toys, blankets, or crafts. Little purchases like coasters or dedicated organizers for each room can help to protect your home from future damage.

Some wear and tear is inevitable when it comes to your house, so when things start to look a little dingy, try one of the restoration products I included, such as cleaners for windows, mirrors, or metal fixtures. I also added a repair kit for wooden floors or furniture, as well as one for repairing leather. These small maintenance hacks will preserve your favorite home pieces while you enjoy them.

Staying clean and tidy is no simple task, but you can rely on these highly rated and reviewed Amazon products to help you along the way.

A Mini Desk Vacuum That’s Rechargeable

prowithlin Desktop Vacuum
Amazon

If your desk is the messiest place in your home, you’ll love this adorable mini vacuum. It cleans up dust and crumbs from desktops, tables, counters, floors, and even keyboards. The rechargeable hand vacuum gets into corners and crevices, and you can clean out its filter with the push of a button. It comes with an attachable vacuum nozzle, a manual, brush, and USB charging cable.

The Covers For Your Fridge To Combat Fingerprints

OUGAR8 Refrigerator Door Handle Covers
Amazon

Over time, grime inevitably builds up on your refrigerator door handles. These plush, protective sleeves keep stains, water drip, fingerprints, and smudges at bay, and they’re totally inexpensive. This pair of machine-washable covers features velcro closures, which you can adjust to fit your door’s handles. Choose from a variety of sizes and quantities so you can protect your other appliances, too.

These Furniture Leg Socks To Prevent Scratching

Sag Hom Furniture Leg Socks (16 Pack)
Amazon

These stretchy furniture leg covers provide an easy way to protect your floors from scratches. They fit chair legs with diameters between two and eight inches and the set includes 16 covers that can stretch over a variety of leg shapes to keep your home looking brand new.

A DIY Wood Furniture And Flooring Repair Kit

Coconix Floor & Furniture Repair Kit
Amazon

Restore any wood flooring or furniture with this repair kit that’s an Amazon bestseller. It easily fills chips, cracks, and other imperfections in wooden furniture, molding, laminate, edging, baseboard, and even decks. This set includes ten repair compounds in various colors, a spatula, an application brush, a wood putty stick, and a mixing jar.

This Playful Stain-Resistant Rug For The Kids’ Rooms

Well Woven Stain Resistant Area Rug
Amazon

The best part about this playful, cozy rug is that it’s stain-resistant. The low-pile rug features a cotton fringe hem and soft woven material. It’s perfect for high-traffic areas or kid’s rooms and playrooms and it’s available in two sizes and four colors.

The Leather Cleaning And Recoloring Kit For Quick Fixes

FurnitureClinic Leather Repair Kit
Amazon

Make your tired and worn leather look as good as new with this cleaner and repair kit. The first step of the kit includes cleaning your leather to remove deeply ingrained dirt and grime while prepping the surface for step two: recoloring. It restores faded leather and protects leather surfaces for the future. This kit comes in 12 colored compounds that can be mixed to match your leather.

A Motion-Activated Keyhole Light For Your Door

Deeirao Motion Sensor Keyhole Light
Amazon

There is a budget-friendly solution to fumbling around in the dark, looking for your keys: this motion-activated light. The LED light comes on when you approach the door, illuminating the keyhole so you can quickly and easily unlock it. It comes with screws or an adhesive to attach to your door and has two modes: daytime or nighttime. You can also use it in cabinets or drawers for extra light on a budget.

This Cable Management Box That Conceals Cords

Chouky Cable Management Boxes (3-Pack)
Amazon

How can your home look its best with messy cords and cables contributing to clutter? This cable management box set is the simple, affordable solution that conceals power strips and loose wires so you can see the room and not the accessories that make it come alive. This set includes three boxes of a variety of sizes and is available in two colors.

A Compact Drawer And Shelf Combo For The Kitchen

Joseph Joseph Cabinet Organizer
Amazon

This small drawer adds usable storage space to your cluttered cabinets. The compact shelf features three tiers and a pull-out drawer. Stack spices or canned goods on the organizer so you can easily see everything at once. It easily fits in your kitchen, however, it’s versatile enough that you could use it to organize your bathroom or craft area.

These Stain-Resistant Comforters In 20 Colors

Madison Park Stain Resistant Blanket
Amazon

Finding a comforter that’s luxurious yet easy to maintain can be tricky, but this microfiber blanket is stain-resistant to keep it looking brand new. This $35 find features a down-alternative fill and double-sided box quilting that looks expensive and feels cozy. It’s super soft and lightweight enough to use year-round. Whenever it does need a clean, wash it in your machine on cold and gentle cycles. Choose from 20 colors.

The Bamboo Shoe Shelf For Your Entryway

BAMFOX Entryway Shoe Rack
Amazon

If your shoes and the shoes of every guest that enters your home are sprawled out all over the hallway floor, this is the attractive solution you need in your home. This sustainable bamboo entryway shelf has two tiers where you can store shoes and boots, as well as purses and a basket for umbrellas. Buy a couple and stack them on top of each other for additional storage.

This Cordless Handheld Vacuum That Does It All

KOVEBBLE Cordless Handheld Vacuum
Amazon

This handheld vacuum is the perfect tool for quickly cleaning up life’s little messes. With no bags to replace, it’s simpler to maintain and it comes with three head attachments for getting hard-to-reach spots, as well as vacuuming your car. It picks up dirt and crumbs from carpet, countertops, floors, and even upholstery. The compact hand vacuum is lightweight and comes with an outlet power cord, as well as one for your car.

The Spoon Rests That Keep Counters Clean

IYOOH Spoon Rest & Lid Holder (2-Pack)
Amazon

This kitchen counter gadget is a chef’s dream because it makes post-meal clean-up a breeze. The food-grade, BPA-free plastic utility rests are designed for you to set spoons, pot lids, and other utensils on to avoid making a mess. The multifunctional rest keeps utensils separate and, thanks to the high lip around the edge, catches any liquids before they drip on your counters. This pack comes with two.

These Canvas Baskets That Can Hold 25 Pounds

StorageWorks Shelf Baskets (Set of 2)
Amazon

If you’re looking for versatile storage that also looks good, try these metal frame storage bins. The rectangular baskets are made of canvas and feature a heavy-duty bottom board and frame that extends to create a rigid shape that supports up to 25 pounds. Use them for spare linens, toys, or craft supplies. The faux leather handles are elegant and modern, making this a no-brainer when it comes to upgrading your storage.

This Dual Lazy Susan Made Of Stylish Bamboo

X-cosrack Bamboo Lazy Susan
Amazon

This bamboo lazy Susan is convenient, sturdy, and stylish, so you can leave it out on your counters without it messing up your home’s aesthetic. It has two tiers that each spin 360 degrees with ease, with three pegs that fit into pre-drilled holes to make assembly a breeze. Each tier has a rim to keep items from sliding off. It measures 10 inches in diameter and serves as the perfect spot for storing spices, produce, or even essential oils.

The Snack Caddy You’ll Want For The Next Big Game

MyGift Sofa Snack Caddy
Amazon

Get ready for the big game with this rustic wood snack caddy. It has compartments for everything you need for the big game: three remote controls, two large food dishes, and two cup holders. The serving tray has handles on the side and stainless steel bowls for snacks that can be removed when it’s time to clean them.

A Pack Of Rustic Corner Shelves For Unusable Space

Olakee Floating Corner Shelves (Set of 2)
Amazon

These unique corner shelves make use of wall space in your home you’d otherwise ignore. This two-pack comes with dark rustic-looking wood shelves and four black metal brackets to secure them to the wall. The right-angle shelves fit perfectly into any corner or nook.

These Unbreakable Cups For Your Next Party

Choary Unbreakable Cups (Set of 5)
Amazon

Host a party without the fear of broken glass with these unbreakable cups. They’re eco-friendly and even made from reclaimed materials such a natural wheat straw and starch. They’re biodegradable and won’t break or chip — even if you run them through the dishwasher, microwave, or even store them in the freezer. This pack of five comes in a variety of colors so your guests can keep track of their drinks.

The Grout Pens That Make Tile Look Brand New

NADAMOO Grout Pen and Brush
Amazon

Give your tile an upgrade and avoid scrubbing in the future with these grout pens. This kit comes with a foldable cleaning brush that gets tough, stuck-on grime, as well as two beige-colored grout pens that easily cover dingy grout lines. This pack includes two replacement nibs for the pens so you can revamp your whole space for less than $20.

A Quick-Drying Bath Mat That Prevents Slipping

Asvin Quick Drying Bath Mat
Amazon

Keep your bathroom smelling fresh by avoiding common mold traps. Your bath mat is one of those spots, but with this textured mat, you can worry less about mildew because it dries so quickly. It’s made of PVC loofah material that secures itself to the floor without suction cups. The material is resistant to scum and can be washed in warm water.

This Unique Metal Brush That Eliminates Pet Hair

Zoreni Pet Hair Remover
Amazon

Eliminate pet hair from your favorite sofa with this magic tool that should cost a lot more than $10. This metal brush features a wooden handle, which is comfortable in your hand. In addition to handling pet hair and fur, you can use this tool to gently brush your couch and trim loose strings and banish pilling.

These Crowd-Favorite, Reusable Chalk Labels

Savvy & Sorted Chalk Labels (96-Pack)
Amazon

Keeping your house organized can feel like an uphill battle, but with the help of these reusable labels, now your whole family can help out. This pack includes 96 labels that stick to glass bottles, jars, or plastic containers and a chalk pen that is erasable. This pack is Amazon’s #1 bestseller of “removable labels,” earning nearly 20,000 reviews.

The Sink Mat That Fits Around Your Faucet

Ternal Faucet Absorbent Mat
Amazon

Keep sitting water in your kitchen to a minimum with this sink mat. It wraps around the base of your sink and absorbs splashes or drips. The protective mesh material dries super quickly and can be machine washed and dried. It has a snap that secures the mat around your faucet and comes in three colors.

These Fun Wall Hooks That Encourage Tidying Up

Umbra Buddy Wall Hooks (Set of 3)
Amazon

Looking for whimsical solutions that will get your kids to pick up their stuff (or keep you motivated as an adult)? Try these wall hooks that look like little characters scaling the wall. The “buddy” wall hooks can hold up to five pounds — ideal for jackets, lightweight bags, and towels. This pack of three includes mounting hardware and adds a fun touch to any space.

The Glass Wax That Polishes Windows and Mirrors

E.J. Wheaton Co. Glass Wax

Do your windows, mirrors, or metal fixures look tired and worn? This professional glass wax is the solution you’ve been searching for. It polishes and protects glass and metal by simply rubbing on and buffing the wax off. It goes on dark pink but dries to a chalky white so you know when it’s time to remove it. This little bottle will give your windows and mirrors a streak-free finish.

A Low-Pile Doormat That Absorbs Water Quickly

Morgantag Waterproof Doormat
Amazon

A durable doormat can save your floors from sitting water, mud, and snow, but not all doormats are created equally. This heavy-duty option is waterproof, low-profile, and easy to clean. It’s made with highly absorbent polypropylene fabric in a low pile that allows doors to easily open over the mat. To clean it, you can use a vacuum or hose, and the manufacturer says it’s safe to machine wash as well.

These Door Draft Stoppers That Keep Bedrooms Warm

SAKUYV Weather Stripping Door Seal
Amazon

These weather-stripping door draft stoppers fit onto your door to keep out sound and light and to regulate temperature. The transparent seal traps heat in or out, depending on the season, so you can cut electrical costs. Installing it is as easy as cutting it to size, peeling back the adhesive tape, and sticking it onto your door. You can use it anywhere to close gaps in garages, basements, beds, or even cabinets.

A Teeth-Brushing Station That Keeps Everything Clean

showgoca Toothbrush Holder
Amazon

Why dispense your own toothpaste when you can pay $26 to have a machine do it for you? This toothpaste dispenser can be conveniently mounted to the wall by your bathroom sink using a double-sided adhesive. It’s also a sanitary solution: It can hold up to four toothbrushes when they’re not in use, keeping their heads covered and away from germs. Plus it features a shelf for storing other essentials, as well as two cup dispensers.

This Modern, Automatic Trash Can That Locks In Odors

Ninestars Touchless Garbage Can
Amazon

This simple upgrade will make your whole house instantly cleaner: a new trash can. This one has a touchless automatic sensor that opens and closes to lock in odors when you’re not using it. The three-gallon can has a stainless steel base and plastic lid with a slow-close feature, along with a non-skid base and a removable ring liner to secure bags. It’s available in eight colors options.

A Set Of Nesting, Wooden Coasters To Protect Tables

Kamenstein Wood Coasters (Set of 4)
Amazon

These wooden coasters look like expensive decor accents when they’re not in use, but function beautifully at protecting your table from ring marks. The four-piece natural acacia wood and cork coasters nest into one another when stacked and offer a sturdy lip to keep drinks from spilling. The cord bed absorbs moisture to keep your tabletops in pristine condition.

The Fabric Pins That Are Magnetic And Release Easily

Pinion Pins Magnetic Duvet Clips
Amazon

These genius magnetic pins ensure you never wake up with your duvet bunched up at the foot of your duvet cover. The easy-release pins secure up to 10 pounds so you can also use them for hanging curtains, pinning comforters, or securing couch covers in place. This set comes with eight pins.

These Genius Cushion Supports To Revamp Sofas

Evelots Sofa Cushion Support
Amazon

Over time, sofa cushions can sink and won’t always spring back to life. But these cushion supports improve the shape and feel of your furniture. The wood supports are covered in black vinyl, making them a cinch to clean. Just fold out the supports to your desired length and place them below your seat cushions for extra reinforcement. They instantly fix sagging cushions and make your pieces look so much better. Best of all, no installation is required.

The Sheer Curtains That Repel Dust And Dog Hair

Clean Window Anti-Dust Curtains
Amazon

The best way to keep your curtains clean is to dedicate time to wash them properly, but let’s be real — there’s not always enough time in the day for that. That’s why reviewers love these anti-dust sheer curtain panels. They’re made of a textured material that is anti-dust, anti-allergen, and repels pet hair, so your curtains stay cleaner longer. This polyester-blend set features a slide-through curtain rod pocket. Choose from three sizes and three colors.

The Magnetic Curtain Tie-Backs That Look Stylish

Melaluxe Magnetic Curtain Tiebacks (6-Pack)
Amazon

Don’t just push your curtains open, tie them back with these magnetic curtain holders that keep them in place and add a charming accent. Not only are they easy to use, but they’re also decorative with a modern spindle-shaped clasp and rope tie that’s stylish.

A Pack Of Odor-Beating Lavender Sachets For Home

Lavende Sur Terre Closet Fragrance Sachets (24-Pack)
Amazon

Keep your closet smelling fresh by hanging a few of these lavender sachets over your hangers. The small bags are filled with French lavender, which has a calming fragrance that can reduce odors and boost your mood. Place one in your gym bag or by the door where everyone leaves their shoes. This set comes with 24 sachets.

The Self-Watering Pots That Hydrate Your Plants

Vanavazon Self Watering Planters (3-Pack)
Amazon

These self-water planters make it easy to care for your plants, even if you don’t have the greenest thumb. The 6-inch pots feature a large, transparent basin that can hold excess water, which plants absorb through a connecting cotton rope. This set of three is available in gray and white and will water your plants for up to about a week, depending on the plant and time of year.

These Covers That Fill The Gaps On Your Countertop

HELESIN Counter Gap Cover
Amazon

Cover the space between your stove and countertop to keep it free from messes with this set of stove gap fillers. The flexible silicone is easy to cut to match the depth of your appliance, and the T-shaped profile slides easily into place for a super-simple setup. Its nonslip construction won’t slide around and it provides a seamless fit.

A Slim, Sleek Rolling Cart For Extra Storage Anywhere

AOJIA Slim Storage Cart
Amazon

If you need some additional storage, check out this rolling three-tier cart. It has more than 5,000 reviews, and many reviewers have raved about how easy the trolley-style cart is to move from room to room, as well as how the durable wheel brakes keep it from rolling away on its own. It’s made of plastic and stainless steel so it’s easy to wipe down, plus its narrow size is perfect for storing in your bathroom, laundry room, or kitchen.

An Easy-To-Clean Showerhead With Seven Modes

Delta Faucet 7-Spray Showerhead
Amazon

This showerhead is one the whole family will love since it has seven settings to choose from. It easily attaches to your existing shower and has touch-clean spray holes that you can simply wipe clean, rather than soaking it. Choose from a full body spray, wide-body spray, massaging spray, full body with massage, drenching spray, energy-saving mode, and pause. Each mode is powerful to relieve sore muscles and wash away the dirt of the day.

These Guide Lights That Easily Install On Your Outlets

SnapPower Outlet Guide Light
Amazon

Adding custom lighting to your home can be a huge investment, but these outlet guide lights are a budget-friendly solution — plus they have 11,000 reviews. This pack comes with two outlet plates that have a built-in light and don’t require batteries or wires. They snap on easily without occupying one of your outlets and they come in four colors.

A Hygienic Soap Dispenser That’s Automatic

Umbra Automatic Soap Dispenser
Amazon

The area around your sink can get pretty messy. Thanks to its battery-powered design (which works when you simply place your hand under it), this soap dispenser cuts down on the drips of soap that inevitably land on countertops. This hygienic dispenser holds liquid soap and has a versatile sleek finish that’s stylish and suits any home decor.

The Decorative Outdoor Pillow Covers You’ll Love

MIULEE Waterproof Pillow Covers (Set of 4)
Amazon

Create a cozy space in your backyard or step up your curb appeal by adding some of these decorative pillow covers to front porches. Don’t worry, they’re waterproof — made of canvas polyester with a PU coating. This four-pack features 18-by-18-inch covers, however, they’re available in four sizes and 21 colors. They feature a hidden zipper where you can insert the pillow (not included).

A Paper Towel Holder With Lots Of Whimsy

Umbra Buddy Paper Towel Holder
Amazon

How cute is this paper towel holder? While it secures the roll of paper towels upright, it also features a little “buddy” hugging the roll, making it easier to tear off a sheet. It’s fun and functional, plus it’s easy to load when the roll is empty. It’s earned nearly 3,000 reviews, including this one: “I like the uniqueness, so had to buy it. It’s sturdy and does the job.”

This Tabletop Organizer To Keep Track Of The Remote

MyGift Wood Remote Control Caddy
Amazon

Keep all your TV remotes in one place to save your sanity. This $20 fix holds three or four remotes, depending on the size. The tabletop organizer has a rustic farmhouse decor style that is a stylish alternative to your typically messy coffee table.

The Clothing Rack Dividers For Organizing Your Closet

TraGoods Closet Dividers (16-Pack)
Amazon

Do you share a closet with your partner? Or do you want to make putting clothes away a bit easier? Try these clothing rack dividers. This pack of 16 comes with 60 labels that you can add to each divider to make it easier to find what you’re looking for. Use it to label colors or outfits, or just separate what is yours from what belongs to your partner. The sturdy plastic labels go over your closet pole and sit above hangers so you can clearly read them.

Article: bustle.com

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Is He "The One?" I Still Don’t Know After Four Years

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Q: If I don’t know after four years, does that mean my boyfriend isn’t “the one”? I ask because we’re planning to move in together next summer, and I feel like I should be sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I always hear, “When you know, you know,” so I’m wondering if I don’t know yet, does that mean I never will? I’m 27, and while I’m comfortable being single at this point, I don’t want to figure out three to five years from now that he isn’t my person for life. That scares me!

I don’t want to feel like I’m settling but I also don’t know if it’s normal to feel a little unsure. I can absolutely see spending the rest of my life with him, but in a way, I also assume I’d be able to find someone else. (I definitely don’t believe there’s only one perfect person for everyone.) I guess my question boils down to: Do you always “know,” or is it normal to have some uncertainty? And if you should be sure, at what point in a relationship should you call it quits if you aren’t?

A: To answer the big question you have, yes, it’s incredibly normal to feel uncertain, to harbor lingering doubts. The truth is, you cannot know how long a relationship lasts until it’s over, which might be when one of you dies! I want to gently suggest that the length of a relationship is not what makes it good or bad, real or false, love or a poor approximation. There is no knowing that someone is going to be “the one,” the right choice forever. The question isn’t, “Will this person always make me happy?” but rather, “Is this a relationship I want to build?

There’s a misconception that most of us unconsciously hold about relationships. It’s perhaps the most pervasive myth out there when it comes to long-term love, and it’s the idea that a relationship is actually a predetermined set of life events that a specific potential partner is selling, and we choose to buy it or not.

In reality, relationships aren’t given to you fully formed; you make them together. You build your relationship with someone, your compatibility with them, brick by painstaking brick. It’s like a house you and your partner build that you never actually complete, never get to fully live in. You just keep building it, every single day, through your words and your actions, the things you overlook, and the things you blow up about. It’s a little Sisyphus-ian, really. (The silver lining here is that if Camus is to be believed, Sisyphus is happy.)

I’m not suggesting that you can change any person into a great partner, or that you can change people at all, or that that’s the goal. I’m just reminding you that what you have with your partner is created by you two — you have control!

There’s a joke in the book Wedding Toasts I’ll Never Give by Ada Calhoun where she asks her mother, “How do you stay married?” and her mother answers, “You don’t get divorced.” It’s a trite joke, sure, but there’s some truth to it, too. The way to stay together is… you just do it. So if you’re worried about leaving your partner in a few years, one option would be to simply not. I know I’m massively oversimplifying things! My reductionism is off the charts here.

Your real fear is one of two things. One, that things will somehow be so bad that you’ll want to leave, which frankly seems unlikely (although certainly possible) if they haven’t been bad up until this point. Or two, and I think this is the root of the root, that things will never be so f*cking good that you will feel certain that you picked correctly. And if things aren’t That Good, shouldn’t you just leave now?

My vote, honestly? Stay. Don’t leave. Now, I am distinctly not of the belief that long-term love is a hard slog where you can’t stand to be around your partner, but it’s somehow valuable because… you did it! You made a choice and never changed your mind and now you and your partner of 47 years sleep in separate bedrooms and haven’t had sex in two decades, which is somehow an achievement because you Stuck It Out.

Let me be clear: Those are bad outcomes. I am, however, of the belief that long-term, committed love feels a lot more like sitting in a comfortable armchair than riding a roller coaster. It’s a lot more like putting on a great pair of socks than it is like going to a dance party. Obviously, there are times when that’s a little sad. I wish love were a little more like the movies sometimes, but there’s a reason rom-coms end after people get together. It’s kind of boring! Not every day. Some days are hot; some days feel like falling in love again.

Every negative train of thought in your letter is posed as a future hypothetical. The questions you ask are, “What if things get bad? What if I become bored or dissatisfied?” Not that you are currently, which I think is really telling. I believe if you were to start feeling very unhappy you would know.

Is there a guarantee those things won’t happen with your partner in a few years? No. But right now you’re giving me absolutely zero reasons to predict that it will. It’s always possible that you and your partner — whether that’s your current boyfriend or someone else — change and grow in ways that mean you two no longer fit together. It’s possible that one or both of you has a massive, unforeseen life event that breaks the relationship. It’s possible you want different things out of life down the road. It’s possible that Adam Driver knocks on your door and tells you that it’s always been you and asks you to run away with him. Are any of those a reason to leave now? No.

You’re never going to get a Hogwartsian letter in the mail that tells you who The One is. You’ll never know with absolute certainty that you made the right choice. As you pointed out, there are lots of people out there who would probably build a lovely life with you. Would it be different in some really good ways with another person? Yes! Would it also be different in some really bad ways? Also yes. No matter who you choose to spend your life with, there will be some degree of wonder about what it would be like with someone else. But if you’re 95% with someone, I don’t think that’s settling.

So if you love spending time with your partner, if being with them feels good and happy and secure now, even if not Unendingly Thrilling and Wildly Exciting, but warm and loving… well, that’s pretty d*mn good. If it doesn’t feel like that, if it feels like you’re just going through the motions, then walk away. As Marianne Moore says in one of my favorite poems, “Satisfaction is a lowly thing. How pure a thing is joy.” Find happiness and stick with it when it’s hard, but not when it’s bad.

You’ll never be able to see what’s coming down the road. The great news, however, is that you have a lot of control over what you make and with whom.

It’s A Pleasure appears here every Thursday. If you have a sex, dating, or relationship question, email Sophia at BustleSexAdvice@gmail.com.

Original Post: bustle.com

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